Funny stories

The Possum, The Sword, and The Chicken

Once upon a time, there was a nice man and a nice woman who lived in a nice house with their nice kids. The nice man and woman had three chickens who gave them eggs each day, and so they truly enjoyed having their little chickens.


Every night, as the sun would go down, the three chickens would follow each other into their chicken coop, which sat just next to the nice man and woman’s bedroom window. It was their nightly routine and it was where they felt safe to sleep each night.

One night, the nice woman was awakened by loud noises. It was the sound of her chickens clucking away very loudly. That’s peculiar, the woman thought. Then, suddenly, the clucking sounded panicked and very strange. The woman had tried to look out the window that faced the coop, but it was too dark and she couldn’t see a thing!

She hurriedly slipped on her shoes and ran to her backyard where the coop was. Partially blind because she didn’t have her contacts in, she crept inside the fenced area that surrounded the chicken coop and it was there that she saw two of the chickens frantically trying to find a way out, pacing their way back and forth and behaving quite panicked. The woman looked to see what else she could find that was causing them to be so upset and it was there that her eyes fell upon a devious looking possum.


It had something large in its mouth, which it was jerking around but the darkness coupled with her partial blindness didn’t allow her to see it well enough. She realized that since she had only seen two of her chickens, it must have been the third! Oh no, she thought!

Frightened by the possum but eager to save her two other chickens from harm, she tried to put them back in the coop. Panicked and desperately looking for some back up, she looked from afar at their bedroom window that faced the coop and yelled, “Possum!” at her husband, who apparently thought it best to watch the dark mystery from inside, clueless as to what was actually going on outside. She went back to trying to put her panicked chickens back in the coop, scared that she may be the possum’s next victim. But when she saw that her nice husband hadn’t come out yet, she stormed right up to the window and again yelled, “Possum!”

For some reason, this seemed to do the trick, and it was then that he came outside with a flashlight and was able to see, to his surprise, that there was a possum and it was, without a doubt, crunching and munching on their third chicken.

After she hurriedly managed to put her two chickens in the coop, they stood outside the small fenced area and discussed what they could do about this situation. Watching the possum tug and gnaw at their faithful provider, they discussed their options.

“We have to kill it or it will come back,” said the nice man.

“How are we going to do that?,” the nice woman asked.

“Well, I can’t shoot a gun at it within city limits…but I do have a kung fu sword.”

“You’re going to kill it with a sword!?!” the woman asked, startled.

“I have no other choice,” the man said with great conviction and courage as he thrusted his chest outward and put one foot on a nearby stone. They then both walked back into the house.

The woman, who could barely even visualize the thrusting of a sword into this rat like varmint, went to go hide in her bathroom. She figured it was a good time to give it a good cleaning and release her anxiety.

The man went to go retrieve his sword and practiced some kung fu fighting techniques, should the possum bring its own set of skills to the match.


The woman eventually climbed back into bed and lay there quietly, waiting. After much time had passed, the man finally came back into the bedroom and climbed back into bed.

“It is done. ” he said.

“It’s done?” she asked.


The woman felt great relief and felt proud to have a husband who was willing to go into a kung-fu fight with a possum.

From that day on, there were only two chickens left for the nice family. It took a while for the two chickens to recuperate from the trauma they had experienced. For days, they acted unusual and stayed in one corner of the backyard, instead of their normal roaming and searching for worms and bugs. The nice couple tried to love them and reassure them as much as they could. That had to understand that although possums come and go, families do their best to stick together.

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